Afternoon Tea at the Underground Restaurant

I've been following Miss Marmite Lover's blog on hosting an illegal restaurant in her living room for some while, and had wanted to pay a visit for some time. Fate seemed to conspire against me, and although I made it to London a couple of times, other plans always got in the way.

Last weekend the Domestic Sluts were hosting a tea party at the Underground Restaurant. Last weekend I was free in the afternoon. I bought a ticket online, spent an hour on the TFL website trying to work out the best way to Kilburn without using the tube or overland (both of which were shut), put on my best tea dress and headed "underground"...

Like all good parties, as I approached the front door I could hear chatter and the clinking of bottles. I was a little nervous that I might be gatecrashing some random gathering, but it seemed I'd found the right flat after all.

Inside the flat, I settled on the balcony with a glass of kir royale. I got talking with some of the other guests, one of whom wondered why restaurants such as this were illegal. Thinking about it, running a home restaurant seems to be quite a bureaucratic crime - you'll get prosecuted for failure to pay business rates or submit to a hygiene inspection (but as guests are welcome in the kitchen once the food is done, the food hygiene standards are more transparent than most legal restaurants).

Some of the Domestic Sluts

After a suitable amount of mingling time, we settled at the tables for tea. We helped ourselves to a plate on sandwiches already on the table. There were Marmite sandwiches, and I'd never tried Marmite, so I went for one of them straight away. I'd been put off by the smell in the past, and was expecting to fall in the "hate it" camp. Surprisingly, I found Marmite completely inoffensive, and was totally ambivalent about it. I must be the exception that proves the rule.

Also on the table already was a big old plate of homemade scones and jam (no cream - this came later by which point I'd eaten all the scones. Oops.) which did not last long. We also had aga meringues which were shatteringly crisp on the outside, but ridiculously chewy on the inside. I used the cream to sandwich bits of meringue together, it was very good.

Full marks to all the waiting crew, who furnished us with almost endless pots of tea. They also brought round sundried tomato and anchovy tartlets, squash and feta parcels, hot buttered crumpets, carrot cupcakes, rum and ginger cupcakes (awesome) and orange biscuits. There were also chocolate macarons, which were absolutely delicious.

Kitchen Porn

All the food was homemade, and I went to the kitchen when things started winding down to have a nose around and meet Miss MarmiteLover herself. The kitchen wasn't overly big (which made the quantity of food that came out of it even more impressive), but it was a cook's kitchen. Here the Madeleine tin gets to sit brazenly on a shelf, while in my kitchen it's languishing at the back of a cupboard. I was seriously coveting this kitchen. I loved it even more as it featured my new favourite kitchen gadget - the Ikea steppy stool to allow short people to reach high cupboards! (Worryingly, it's advertised as a kid's item.)

The Steppy Stool

I wouldn't review the Underground Restaurant in exactly the same way I would a normal restaurant, as it's a completely different concept. I didn't mind not getting a choice of food, and I really liked talking to the random people on my table. Where else do you get to discuss American health care policy, Vivienne Westwood shoes and a dodgy Turkish boyfriend with strangers? It's much closer to a dinner party, and quite a civilised one at that.

Eteaket, Frederick Street, Edinburgh

While roaming New Town late at night, my friend L pointed out a basement cafe on Frederick Street.

"Have you been there? It serves all types of crazy teas!"

I hadn't been there, although their logo seemed familiar and I think I might have had a nose round their stall at Taste of Edinburgh. I was intrigued to see how they would compete with Edinburgh's other tea-based cafe, Loopy Lorna's. I resolved to check Eteaket out the next day. It's pronounced etty-qwet (as in good manners) but I can't help but see it as ee-teek-it.

View of Eteaket from Frederick Street

Despite going fairly late in the afternoon, the place was busy and the waitresses seemed distracted. I found a table in the corner, and was a bit annoyed as my table was a wrought iron patio type affair, whereas the other tables looked much more comfortable. The decor was stylish, but not particularly groundbreaking. As I was on my own, I was pleased to see a selection of current newspapers to keep me entertained too.

I ordered a White Peach tea, which arrived soon after. It was served in a very clever teapot design, that allowed the tea-leaves to circulate in a filter tube. Once the brewing time was over, the leaves could be sealed off from the tea. I was particularly impressed by this, as one of my pet hates is overbrewed tea. This is especially an issue when using a teapot, as you get a great first cup, but the second cup is bitter and nasty. The waitress also brought over an egg-timer, to brew the tea for the correct amount of time, and a pretty china cup and saucer.

White Peach Tea at Eteaket

The tea tasted a lot lighter and fresher than a standard tea, as it is a white tea, which is made from young tea leaves which are not oxidised and fermented the same way black teas are. It also had a very strong flavour of peaches, which was most apparent in the aftertaste. The website and menu don't really make clear if this is just a quirk of that particular tea, or if peaches have actually been added to the leaves. Given the strength, I would say there is probably some additional peach flavouring in the blend. The teapot held a litre of tea, and I got 4 or 5 cups worth, which was excellent value given that I'd only paid marginally more than I would have for a standard mug of breakfast tea in other cafes.

The next day, T and I were in town again as I had discovered some Lakeland vouchers left over from Christmas and wanted a bit of retail therapy. We also trekked round several bookshops looking for a certain book which none of them had, so I suggested another trip to Eteaket to recover!

This time I went for the Royal Earl Grey, and we shared a cream tea. The cafe was even busier today, so we were very lucky to get a table (a comfy one too!) almost straight away. However it took the waitresses some time to clear away the last guests' debris, something I had also noticed the day before. We followed the egg-timers, and as I am still unsure about whether I like Earl Grey, I went for a lighter brew than I would normally. However, mine was overbrewed and I had to add quite a lot of sugar to overcome the bitterness. I'd noticed a teapot sitting on the counter waiting to be served for a few minutes, so I suspect that mine was already brewed before it even reached the table.

Our cream tea was good, with two generous scones, one plain and one raisin. It also came with a good size portion of clotted cream and jam. I love clotted cream on scones, so I was happy to see this. The jam was a bit disappointing, as it was more of a "smooth style" jelly than a proper homely jam. It seemed strange to be serving rare teas, a wide range of patisserie and a specialist cream not really found at this end of the country, alongside a Tesco Value style jam. However, the range of sandwiches and pastries looked really good, and they had the banoffee tarts I had at the Breadwinner day!

T liked Eteaket, and pronounced it "less chaotic" than Loopy Lorna's. Although Loopy Lorna's looks very homely and amateurish, I thought the service there was much more efficient than at Eteaket. Tables weren't being cleared quickly, and orders took a while to arrive. It was also unclear whether people sitting in were meant to pay at the counter, or if that till was for take away orders. Loopy Lorna's has the upper hand in staff efficiency, and a more unique atmosphere, but Eteaket had a much more comprehensive tea selection, as well as an approach geared towards tea appreciation rather than straight-up drinking..

Overall, I enjoyed both my visits to Eteaket, and will probably go here rather than a chain coffee shop when in town. The service was a bit haphazard, but the tea was some of the best I've had in a while. They also had tea in caddies to take home, and a great selection of tea accessories (including this really cute teapot/cup).

Loopy Lorna's

One of my favourite things about holidays as a child was going to National Trust houses, partly as I am a geek but partly because I loved having a cream tea after. While scones and jam are common throughout the UK, to be a proper cream tea it needs to have clotted cream. Having a cream tea served with whipped cream is iniquitous in my opinion. It should have a generous layer of jam (ideally strawberry or raspberry, and ideally seeded or whole fruit) and then a mountain of clotted cream. Some people put a thin layer of cream and masses of jam, but that is no fun in my opinion.

After a particularly lazy morning, T and I walked to Morningside. I wanted to nose around Waitrose to see if they had any freeze dried raspberries, and possibly check out the Oxfam bookshop for some cookery tomes. Instead we stopped by Loopy Lorna's for tea.

It was quite busy, which wasn't surprising for Saturday afternoon, but there were a couple of spare tables. The waitress brought round menus, and we decided to treat ourselves to a Cornish cream tea. T had morning blend tea, and I had Lapsang Souchong. The counter was heaving with delicious looking cakes, and I couldn't wait to see if the scones were as good as they looked.

Our tea came in tiny teapots, each with a unique teacosy. Mine was black with a pink knitted teapot, Loopy Lorna's logo. T had an amazing teacosy on his pot, it was knitted from a feathery material and decorated to look like a chicken! I wish I'd had my camera with me. The tea was loose leaf, so alongside our cups and saucers, we were both provided with a tea strainer.

The first cup was delicious, with a hint of smoke. Normally I am a milk and sugar type, but I drank this black. The next cup was a little overbrewed, but had T and I shared a pot instead of demanding different types of tea it would have been great. They also offered free refills of hot water, so even though the tea was a little expensive you could easily string it out for a few extra cups. I was torn between the lapsong souchong and the Earl Grey, although I was also tempted by the white teas and oolongs. I shall have to go back and try all the others!

The scones looked delicious, and the bowl of clotted cream was generous. The raspberry jam had nice chunks of fruit in it, but the portion was a tad stingey for a greedy person like me!

Now for the moment of truth... could these scones live up to my childhood memories? They were almost perfect. The outside was biscuity, with a bit of a crunch, but the inside was soft and cake-like. The best bit was that they didn't leave the weird, cloying floury film on your teeth that bad scones do. The worst bit was that I felt so full afterwards! We couldn't finish all of them, and didn't have enough room for a refil of tea.

I really wish I had thought of this, as it's really quirky and unusual. I loved all the retro china and doilies, and the slightly mismatched and bold decor. Even though it is a bit of a trek from my flat, I really wish I had more visitors so I could take them out for tea! I can't wait to go back and try all the different blends of tea, as well as the full afternoon tea with sandwiches and cakes. A great little find and highly recommended.